The Act of Revulsion

Stuffed with laziness and enriched with procrastination, it is again that slothful Sunday and I am in my bed busy in converting oxygen into carbon-dioxide, that’s it. Well, plants owe me some respect, don’t they?

I carry my work-shy piece of body to the computer desk which is about 2 m away. Urrghh! Why the desk is so far! Of course, the synonym of Sunday is ‘anti-study’ day and I am not going to have an eye contact with any of my thick bunch of pages. PC on and so is my most favourite game, Call of Duty. Yeah, I do love that ‘bang bang’ game.

No type of disturbance I am open too. It’s just me and the peace surrounding me in my huge mansion. *bling* Damn! I spoke too soon I guess. I was just enjoying my own company and my cell phones vibrates and what I see make my jaw drop wide down. The results are out. That is the most devilish thing those educational authorities can do; put our results on Sunday and spoil the weekend.

Don’t worry, I’ll make it. Don’t worry, I’ll pass. I keep reciting this self-incentivizing statement as I open the link to check my results. I hope I make it in this semester because I still have 3 backlogs to clear and I hope my fate doesn’t add more to this number.

“Sorry! You’ve not cleared your examination.” My heart aches as I see this statement typed below of the screen highlighted in red colour. I am a student like others and just like others, I curse them. “They are fools. They don’t know how to check the papers. They must quit their jobs and crave on roads.” I shout out, cursing them to the loudest.

Look down in depression, totally demoralized. What will my parents say? What will my relatives comment? Yes, that nature of mine to mull over negative things and still tethers me into its bad aftermath.

I scratch my head in anxiety. And what adds more to it is the sound of the door getting opened. It’s my mom. I disclose the truth in front of her and I am backfired. She scolds me and pours all her anger upon me, drenching me in shame. She cries, she sits down and all I do is just watch her with my eyes wet. I have let her too down this time. I can’t see her like this. “Mom, I promise to put my heart and soul this time. I assure you that I will get all my backs cleared, and come up with none from next time. I assure you that you’ll feel proud of me.” She smiles. I take a sigh of relief feeling good for the day.

I hope no more sorrows today and keeping this hope alive, I enter my classroom. Uh-oh! We have our head faculty in our class and his face blood red. I saw troubles approaching towards me. “Oh! Look who has come. Miss Aditi. Come, I hope you too belong to the herd of these brainless bulky fleshy bodies. Yes, I have seen your result.” Wow! How beautifully I am welcomed in class with the showers of insults. He adds some more and continues his insult in front of the whole class. He finally concludes but the conclusion purely resembles persecution. The conclusion, according to him, is to write our assignments 5 times, each containing 20 pages and get it signed within 2 days. If we fail to accomplish, no exams for us. It is an atrocious act by the faculties to burden the student. I accept that I did not study well but this is not the right way to improve the students.

Again I get hauled in the tornado of woe. I think and think and think. “I cannot handle this anymore now” I say to myself seeing no ray of hope. Fortune is in my favour. No one’s in class because of lunch break and a perfect situation for my mind-plan. I fetch a rope from the corner, tie it to the ceiling fan and make a loop of the suspended end. I have a look around for the last time. Tears in my eyes and my heart into pieces. I feel worthless. I had assured my mom that she would be proud me. I’m sorry, really sorry, mom. I put the look around my neck and I am unconfined from all my sins.

Our society suffers from a major disease. The symptoms show the victim adding more to a person’s trouble. Here, the faculty harassed the student to such an extent that she committed suicide. Both were at fault. The faculty is supposed to make her understand politely and take care of her, not intimidate her. And the student, she must have courage. Life is not a bed of roses. Success is the survival through the failures and she must have understood that. One must not get suppressed by the small pressures of life. If a person commits suicide, it is not only he who dies. He takes away the happiness, the souls of his loved ones along with him. At the same time, the society must realize that every brain has the beam of light that goes for something extraordinary. It may take time but it is not incapable.

Seriously, don’t we live in an extra weird world where a person who must be soft gets rude and hard over other and the one, who must be hard and tough, gets loose and commits suicide!